First of all, sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry (x1000000) for not updating. But I maybe starting a new blog soon sinc its the hols again!!! ^^ k....um.....i am quite embarassed with this blog (trying to be truthful) coz it seems so...last year. Which it is! (': coz of my punishments and laziness and who knows what other crap excuses.... i finally updated! honestly, i was being punished a hell lot of times and my blog couldn't be opened in my main computer. Since its hols, i guess i better activekan my blog yaaa? So eventhough u r my enemy,my ex or even my bestie you would know what is going on in my life rite?? Especially when i lazy to call. Haha. I know i am a piglet k? =) srry for not much info or excitement YET!!! Butttttttt, i will update more later. K??! Or... if anyone is even seeing this post I am going to be doing another blog. Next time there won't be any hiatus i really hope lar, Coz u never knoe when i kena punish or wat leh..... so nevermind, while i am still online, i will try my best.
Warning to readers: Coz of my long break I might be very rusty so don't scold me yet. I <3 you guys and i promise you i have a valid reason for my long absence. Btw, i am still a 'listening ear' for services, give me a call. Eventhough i hate you, i will always listen to you, i promise. Unless i am being crabby... -_- XD anyways, before you fall asleep listening to me, i just wanted to say, I have retuuurrrnnneeeedddd....! =D lol.. Next year got PMR so I will post a lot of daily updates on my life and see if next year will be better than this suckish year... (:
Friday, November 20, 2009
Thursday, November 27, 2008
Part 3: Going back home with my Plan ^^
Okay * drummm rooolllzzz* this title is the MOST crap of them ALL!!! ^^ hahahha! See lar....I so bored until I can start talking crap, leave the title alone *angry eyes* hahaha. lawl. I so bored at home I can start crying lar.... you know the proverb bored to tears? I am also getting bored to tears. Hee hee hee.... Waaaahhh. I feel like want to cry lar yesterday. Play snooker(or pool izit?!!) I lost dunno how many times lar. He laughing like an idiot and my dog also soooo unfaithful. Started LAUGHING its barking laugh at me! Hmph, no more cookies for you already Goldieee!! Awww... but at dinner time he looked too cutteee to be true(isn't dogs always cute? Especially when they are GUILTY?) so I terpaksa lar give him some bones to munch but still NO biscuits! Mwahahaha. No puppy eyes for me, I am not falling for it!! hahahha. So anyway, I lost like what I said but today, guess what? Hip hip hurraaayyyy, I won!!! xD So pro yea? =D Hah! Goldie, take that! I WON!!! Yeahh babyyyyy!! =) Hyper hyper alert!!! But otherwise life is sooo boring. I somehow cried when I listened to the stupid Never had a Dream come true, till the day that I found you. I cried nonstop lar. Pathetic. My mom was like. "huh?? Never kena marah also cry, kena marah also cry, boring also cry... wah...so crybaby wan lar you." I was like looking at her balefully and she grinned. My father also passed by and say joking, joking lar. "Play snooker lose to me also CRY!!!" *sarcastic* hahaha.....funneee.. =.=" ahahaaha. Okaaaayyy must continue before hyper meter hits MAX! =D
Going back with a plan in my head....
I sighed as I noticed Mun and Saj giving me their looks again. I pointedly ignored them and chatted with Mich non comitally, my mind somewhere else entirely. My face was vacant as I pondered (so much for dreaming in PEACE!) and I got a nasty shock when Mich nudged me with her leg. "Meooowwcchhh!" I yelled indignantly as she happily watched as my eyes linger back into supreme focus. I sighed and faced in front unwilling to look at her. Mich grunted and beckoned En to wake me up from my pondering. En came by and snapped her fingers at my ear causing me to jump of my chair in panic. Both of them started giggling. "Yeah hor... so funny lar..." I said sarcastically my tone hard and cold like a bitter wind of winter. "Awww c'mon talk to us." They prodded and coaxed me. I smiled slightly and looked slightly to my right and say them both(FSW and ST) chit chatting together quite oblivious to my gaze. They nodded and giggled at certain times and my eyes turned more gloomy and downcast. I noticed a thin sheen of blush on Mun's cheeks and I wondered seriously what they were talking about. Saj was giggling uprariously. It was definitely a girl thing from the way they were talking and the lilt of their laughing tones. Urgh, wasn't it just up-si-daisy to be ignored and shun of a secret about YOURSELF? Nope, I definitely think NOT. Judging from the way they were laughing they could be talking about one of my MOST embarassing moments and let me tell you, they are a LOT of embarassing moments in my life. My life is like a book called, The Guide to Clumsiness and Catastrophe..Sighing loudly another time I toyed carefully about the idea that they were REALLY talking about ME and XX but they just WEREN'T telling ME. Maybe they were mocking me about HIM.(not like I really care anyway... ^^)
My eyes grew hard and Mich touched my hand lightly in a kind of reassuring gesture. "Don't worry. We will find out soon." she said softly. then the traitorous En went and sneaked of to Mun and Saj's so called conference table and whispered what Mich said. How do we know? Well, how do you explain the sudden change of their attitude from total ignorance to constant attention? Obvious huh? =D Suddenly, Mun came up to me and smiled so radiantly with all her teeth showing and Saj with her toooo bright eyes? They made it tooo easy to guess that they were hiding something. The thing was just WHAT exactly were they hiding? Hmmm.... (@_@) hee hee hee...the whole day me and Mich cold shouldered them and so did Roop I noticed. It made me sort of realise that Roop also wasn't let on to the secret. I confided in here after school which just made her absolutely delighted that I was talking to her after weeks of silent grudges towards her. She beamed so brightly I suddenly had second thoughts about telling her what I thought. I mean...her smile was brighter than a shining armour!!! haahha. So I did it.. I told her. She nodded and she understood what I meant. "Yeah... I get it...last time me and Saj were so close. She told me every single thing in her head! But now? Siew mun this...hah...siew mun that...siew mun...siew mun...siew mun only! I hardly talk to her anymore!" Roop said in a sort of hysterical way...(or maybe I am just exaggerating such... :D) I sighed and went back home with the book tucked beneath my arm. The book felt like a safe harbour to me as it was familiar and it felt like it was glowing with promise and friendship. For all my friends hands had wrote and traced their memories into that book. It felt alive to me. Like a memoir of a friendship that was getting too fragile. I opened the book after my dinner and read it for a while. As tears gush down my face when I read the enthusiastic comments that filled the pages and the signatures of my friends, their many different handwritings...made me cry all over again. I just couldn't help it. It was like these tears were my emotions that has been cooped up in a small waterproof cage, and a single tap inside could make the whole thing shatter. Friendship was exactly like that. One wrong step, one wrong word, bam bam boom, you don't know your friends again. Some people may not realise it but once you lose a SINGLE friend, the pain of it cuts you sooo deep, you can just wallow in your tears and die. Friendship was more essential than love any day. Love is just an illusion of happiness, that exists for humans to fathom wherelse friendship was more like a boat that was sailing in a stormy sea which was calm when things are happy and light... weird huh? Family is like a chaotic place where you can still find comfort and safety, a safe harbour too. Never underestimate friendship, that is humans most common mistake and here I am...rambling nonsense again.. =)
So I wrote the oath of honesty and I packed my bags for school the next day. Before that, I took the books switched of all the lights in my bedroom, put the book under my pillow and I wept myself to sleep that day.
All of these are true facts! Pleaseee... enjoy it and feel free to leave your comments in my blog yeaa. ^^ And PS: I am going holidayyying for the whole week so I won't be able to go online yaa. Thank you. And Happy Holidays once again! (Pssssttt...enjoy your turkeeeyyy, I know I WILL! =D )
Going back with a plan in my head....
I sighed as I noticed Mun and Saj giving me their looks again. I pointedly ignored them and chatted with Mich non comitally, my mind somewhere else entirely. My face was vacant as I pondered (so much for dreaming in PEACE!) and I got a nasty shock when Mich nudged me with her leg. "Meooowwcchhh!" I yelled indignantly as she happily watched as my eyes linger back into supreme focus. I sighed and faced in front unwilling to look at her. Mich grunted and beckoned En to wake me up from my pondering. En came by and snapped her fingers at my ear causing me to jump of my chair in panic. Both of them started giggling. "Yeah hor... so funny lar..." I said sarcastically my tone hard and cold like a bitter wind of winter. "Awww c'mon talk to us." They prodded and coaxed me. I smiled slightly and looked slightly to my right and say them both(FSW and ST) chit chatting together quite oblivious to my gaze. They nodded and giggled at certain times and my eyes turned more gloomy and downcast. I noticed a thin sheen of blush on Mun's cheeks and I wondered seriously what they were talking about. Saj was giggling uprariously. It was definitely a girl thing from the way they were talking and the lilt of their laughing tones. Urgh, wasn't it just up-si-daisy to be ignored and shun of a secret about YOURSELF? Nope, I definitely think NOT. Judging from the way they were laughing they could be talking about one of my MOST embarassing moments and let me tell you, they are a LOT of embarassing moments in my life. My life is like a book called, The Guide to Clumsiness and Catastrophe..Sighing loudly another time I toyed carefully about the idea that they were REALLY talking about ME and XX but they just WEREN'T telling ME. Maybe they were mocking me about HIM.(not like I really care anyway... ^^)
My eyes grew hard and Mich touched my hand lightly in a kind of reassuring gesture. "Don't worry. We will find out soon." she said softly. then the traitorous En went and sneaked of to Mun and Saj's so called conference table and whispered what Mich said. How do we know? Well, how do you explain the sudden change of their attitude from total ignorance to constant attention? Obvious huh? =D Suddenly, Mun came up to me and smiled so radiantly with all her teeth showing and Saj with her toooo bright eyes? They made it tooo easy to guess that they were hiding something. The thing was just WHAT exactly were they hiding? Hmmm.... (@_@) hee hee hee...the whole day me and Mich cold shouldered them and so did Roop I noticed. It made me sort of realise that Roop also wasn't let on to the secret. I confided in here after school which just made her absolutely delighted that I was talking to her after weeks of silent grudges towards her. She beamed so brightly I suddenly had second thoughts about telling her what I thought. I mean...her smile was brighter than a shining armour!!! haahha. So I did it.. I told her. She nodded and she understood what I meant. "Yeah... I get it...last time me and Saj were so close. She told me every single thing in her head! But now? Siew mun this...hah...siew mun that...siew mun...siew mun...siew mun only! I hardly talk to her anymore!" Roop said in a sort of hysterical way...(or maybe I am just exaggerating such... :D) I sighed and went back home with the book tucked beneath my arm. The book felt like a safe harbour to me as it was familiar and it felt like it was glowing with promise and friendship. For all my friends hands had wrote and traced their memories into that book. It felt alive to me. Like a memoir of a friendship that was getting too fragile. I opened the book after my dinner and read it for a while. As tears gush down my face when I read the enthusiastic comments that filled the pages and the signatures of my friends, their many different handwritings...made me cry all over again. I just couldn't help it. It was like these tears were my emotions that has been cooped up in a small waterproof cage, and a single tap inside could make the whole thing shatter. Friendship was exactly like that. One wrong step, one wrong word, bam bam boom, you don't know your friends again. Some people may not realise it but once you lose a SINGLE friend, the pain of it cuts you sooo deep, you can just wallow in your tears and die. Friendship was more essential than love any day. Love is just an illusion of happiness, that exists for humans to fathom wherelse friendship was more like a boat that was sailing in a stormy sea which was calm when things are happy and light... weird huh? Family is like a chaotic place where you can still find comfort and safety, a safe harbour too. Never underestimate friendship, that is humans most common mistake and here I am...rambling nonsense again.. =)
So I wrote the oath of honesty and I packed my bags for school the next day. Before that, I took the books switched of all the lights in my bedroom, put the book under my pillow and I wept myself to sleep that day.
All of these are true facts! Pleaseee... enjoy it and feel free to leave your comments in my blog yeaa. ^^ And PS: I am going holidayyying for the whole week so I won't be able to go online yaa. Thank you. And Happy Holidays once again! (Pssssttt...enjoy your turkeeeyyy, I know I WILL! =D )
Wednesday, November 26, 2008
Part 3 >.<: I hate you, you hate me
You know what? Suddenly I don't know which title sounds more like crap. The part 2 wan or this wan...bleckk. I hate you, you hate me. hahaha. =D don't perasan it is you yaaa. I maybe hate you only mahhh, if that is a reassurance. Okay suddenly I feel like telling ppl what I had for lunch! Okay...i am freaking myself out! Eeek! Okay if those ppl sooo concerned about me. (thank you!! ILY!!! ^^) I DID NOT have old taufoo! >.< I had nooddddlllesss, completely harmless and tasty to eat. Unless you count the fact that if you eat too much of it, you can become BALD like my uncle. Not counting the hair below and under the arms yaa.. So...skipping that...disgusting...highly offensive bunch of hair that grows under there...(I wonder how my auntie sleeps with him, his underarms must have smelt like poo! Phhh-eeeewww) Okay before I ramble to much. I will continue. So backpedalling towards the highly-not-so-offensive-mee-unless-you-count-smelly-underarms thing... So my father finished eating noodles already lar. Then he saw the highly-offensive-sausage AKA the-thing-that-was-called-delicious-intestines, and he burst a serious vein! He was like a firecracker going pop-a-doodles. He started jumping about like a jack-in-the-box and he started scolding himself! ^^ Yeah, he reaalllllyyy did! I was like rolling my eyes at his ridiculousness and he just continued scolding himself or rather talking to himself. Eeepss! >.<>
Okay okay, fine. Stop grumbling. I will start now!!! Okay?! Drummm roollllzzz people for myyyyy fantasssstiiicccc idddeeeeaaa! Hahaahaahahahaha(perasantedddd againnnn)
Could you have been more obvious already? ♥
Weiqi sighed and looked right ahead and went on talking to Kim. It was obvious she didn't want to be afflicted by my dangerous disease spreading virus AKA the-gila-woman-syndrome. I grinned and took the book back home much to Mich's disapproval. "Okay lar. I tell you lar." I said reluctantly my faced turned into a funny kind of grimace which clearly said "if you hate me, just say lar". She sceptically listened as I told her my idea which was to write some kind of stupid oath on not keeping your secrets about TD to yourself but to tell it if you have a secret that concerns everyone. Mich nodded and smiled devilishly. "How are you going to do that urm..oath thing then?" I sighed and looked at her with my sadddd puppy dog eyes. "How do you think I can do it?" I asked her solemnly. She laughed and just continued writing the exercise before Priyaah could see we were both slacking wayyy below her superior so called pro standards. The day went pass as usual with me hackling at the class bum Leland and tackling my friends for our usual gab fest gossip sessions during recess and all the rest. But throughout the day no matter how I put it. I could still see that Mun and Saj were keeping something away from us. It was perfectly obvious. It was like someone stamped the word SECRETS across their foreheads! En also seemed quite secretive towards me and Mich and our gab fest sessions were seriously tense, well, I know I am being paranoid here but I somehow knew that secret was about me, not mich, but ME. So I confronted them about it right after recess. Saj and Mun were talking silently in low tones together which made the green creature that had grown so fast over the hour growl ferociously at both of them. Roop was quite perasan and thought that angry look I had on my face was meant for her! She scuttled away much to my amusement.
I reminisced the times when Saj and Mun and Me usually talked in threesomes about the perv stuffs. It always made me laugh and talk more freely and also bond more closely with my friends. My friends were my boulder. If a storm would come, I could still see them a mile away (I guess...) It hurt me so deeply when I saw them gabbing together without me at the table that they were sharing. I wanted to just pounce on them and straightaway blurt out "Tell me your secret now!" and knowing full well about my thin resistance, that was the thing I could do very easily in fact. I felt emotionally drained from all my pores. The day had already started bad enough with XX ignoring me at school for one of his mere crap excuses. And the painful realisation that they were both keeping a secret that was about me and were making it so damn freaking obvious! If they weren't so obvious it would be fineeee... but how do you explain their sudden adrupt attitude when I reached their table and smiled brightly at them, and they instantly fell silent and spoke more loudly, pretending that they had been talking about that so called topic for a verrryyy long time. Yeah, right! My face turned sulky and I looked immediately like a spoiled child. I wanted my friends to listen about my problems with XX not mock me with their so called secret! It hurt so deep. till now I can still feel the pain that secret had caused. I am sure mich can still feel it too.
"so...what you guys talking about?" attempting a thin attempt at bravado. It obviously didn't work. Mun grew nervous and so did Saj, Saj was more nervous than Mun which made me certain that Saj was the one who told Mun the secret, obviously about me. Saj started babbling nonsense and I smiled a little for her nonsense were so easily seen through for a normal person like me to see. It was quite obvious she was stuttering for an excuse. Mun managed to save the day by talking to me about XX. I saw through her whole ploy..."Urm...we were talking about You!! yeah...about you and XX!" I arched one eyebrow up and tactfully lied to them, putting on the Guilt Act number 1. "I broke up with him remember? You two were too busy yabbing here to notice." I said thickly, laying on the guilt act pretty fast. I think i was a pretty good liar considering the fact of the guilty look on Saj and Mun's faces. Smirking at Mich, I hopped back to her with a satisfied feeling but also a deep sadness as I continued my facade. I hated lying to my friends, but my unconcious thought was, if they could lie to me, can't I lie to them?
That was a wrong thing to think much less say it out. But the anger in me was overwhelming and I just wanted to vent out my feelings on someone. And who may that someone be? Roop of course! That was how I became closer to roop. And till this day, I have Saj and Mun to Thank for that! ^^ ILY.... Happy Holidayyyysss! (I think that wish came too late? hee hee hee) =D ☺
Okay okay, fine. Stop grumbling. I will start now!!! Okay?! Drummm roollllzzz people for myyyyy fantasssstiiicccc idddeeeeaaa! Hahaahaahahahaha(perasantedddd againnnn)
Could you have been more obvious already? ♥
Weiqi sighed and looked right ahead and went on talking to Kim. It was obvious she didn't want to be afflicted by my dangerous disease spreading virus AKA the-gila-woman-syndrome. I grinned and took the book back home much to Mich's disapproval. "Okay lar. I tell you lar." I said reluctantly my faced turned into a funny kind of grimace which clearly said "if you hate me, just say lar". She sceptically listened as I told her my idea which was to write some kind of stupid oath on not keeping your secrets about TD to yourself but to tell it if you have a secret that concerns everyone. Mich nodded and smiled devilishly. "How are you going to do that urm..oath thing then?" I sighed and looked at her with my sadddd puppy dog eyes. "How do you think I can do it?" I asked her solemnly. She laughed and just continued writing the exercise before Priyaah could see we were both slacking wayyy below her superior so called pro standards. The day went pass as usual with me hackling at the class bum Leland and tackling my friends for our usual gab fest gossip sessions during recess and all the rest. But throughout the day no matter how I put it. I could still see that Mun and Saj were keeping something away from us. It was perfectly obvious. It was like someone stamped the word SECRETS across their foreheads! En also seemed quite secretive towards me and Mich and our gab fest sessions were seriously tense, well, I know I am being paranoid here but I somehow knew that secret was about me, not mich, but ME. So I confronted them about it right after recess. Saj and Mun were talking silently in low tones together which made the green creature that had grown so fast over the hour growl ferociously at both of them. Roop was quite perasan and thought that angry look I had on my face was meant for her! She scuttled away much to my amusement.
I reminisced the times when Saj and Mun and Me usually talked in threesomes about the perv stuffs. It always made me laugh and talk more freely and also bond more closely with my friends. My friends were my boulder. If a storm would come, I could still see them a mile away (I guess...) It hurt me so deeply when I saw them gabbing together without me at the table that they were sharing. I wanted to just pounce on them and straightaway blurt out "Tell me your secret now!" and knowing full well about my thin resistance, that was the thing I could do very easily in fact. I felt emotionally drained from all my pores. The day had already started bad enough with XX ignoring me at school for one of his mere crap excuses. And the painful realisation that they were both keeping a secret that was about me and were making it so damn freaking obvious! If they weren't so obvious it would be fineeee... but how do you explain their sudden adrupt attitude when I reached their table and smiled brightly at them, and they instantly fell silent and spoke more loudly, pretending that they had been talking about that so called topic for a verrryyy long time. Yeah, right! My face turned sulky and I looked immediately like a spoiled child. I wanted my friends to listen about my problems with XX not mock me with their so called secret! It hurt so deep. till now I can still feel the pain that secret had caused. I am sure mich can still feel it too.
"so...what you guys talking about?" attempting a thin attempt at bravado. It obviously didn't work. Mun grew nervous and so did Saj, Saj was more nervous than Mun which made me certain that Saj was the one who told Mun the secret, obviously about me. Saj started babbling nonsense and I smiled a little for her nonsense were so easily seen through for a normal person like me to see. It was quite obvious she was stuttering for an excuse. Mun managed to save the day by talking to me about XX. I saw through her whole ploy..."Urm...we were talking about You!! yeah...about you and XX!" I arched one eyebrow up and tactfully lied to them, putting on the Guilt Act number 1. "I broke up with him remember? You two were too busy yabbing here to notice." I said thickly, laying on the guilt act pretty fast. I think i was a pretty good liar considering the fact of the guilty look on Saj and Mun's faces. Smirking at Mich, I hopped back to her with a satisfied feeling but also a deep sadness as I continued my facade. I hated lying to my friends, but my unconcious thought was, if they could lie to me, can't I lie to them?
That was a wrong thing to think much less say it out. But the anger in me was overwhelming and I just wanted to vent out my feelings on someone. And who may that someone be? Roop of course! That was how I became closer to roop. And till this day, I have Saj and Mun to Thank for that! ^^ ILY.... Happy Holidayyyysss! (I think that wish came too late? hee hee hee) =D ☺
Partz 2 ^^: The battle of ♥ =D
Pleaseeee don't squirm at the title. But it is trueeee!!! I tell the truth only! :) Cheh wah... siew munnnnn!!! You are giving me the perasanted atitudeeee again! Urghhhhhhh.. anyway movings onsss....For the minimal critics and humans and UFOs from outer space and our polluted earth ways, who read the crappy ramblings of a crabby gal, please do continue and Criticccc meeee!! :D I love it when ppl are angry sometimes, especially nan. He is such a big tease. Lawl. So urm...where was I? Oh yea....almost forgot! Part 2 ^^ of the ♥ odessey! Sooo.... =) shall we adventure into the depths of my story? Oh wait first!! Lemme get a cup of coffee and a popcorn bucket. Yeah yeah... ahhhh...that feels better. The caffeine inside that cup of vile liquid is just what I needed to keep me awake on my borinngggg tale......okay....characters involved. Some prefer to be anoymous. So....i respect their wishes.
Characters:
Mun (FSW)
Mich(CYY)
Saj(ST)
Me(JT)
Qi en (GQE)
NY(NY)
Roop(RM) (hee hee hee...ringgit malaysia! =D)
Spiff(SC)
Okay done already... urm...i am one of the baddd guyss as you may label me. Hahaha. But don't blame me, I have a right to be urm...madddd ^^. Okay so I am crapping again. SOS here!!! Jade is crapping again! Hahaha. Naw....I might need CPR too. *wink wink* or maybe just a smoocchhhhh hahaha! Joking dude, ey, doc, don't worry my heart...or rather my lips, are no longer in need of your CPR. Or rather I name that, Calling People Ready (CPR) heyyys! It makes sense! =D hahaha. Nayyy, I will continueee...
The Beginning of A Fight, Uneasy feelings, Unconcious gestures.( urm...isn't that, kinda dangerous?!*wink*)
Happy Go Lucky? Or just Brewing Trouble?
"Don't you think Saj and Mun and En are acting quite strange lately?" I ask Mich. Mich was rather absorbed in her book and just snorted incomprehendingly. I huffed in impatience and nudged her not to softly in her ribs. "Mich!! Listen to me larr." I begged as she scowled at me and rubbed her sore ribs. Oopppss...I guess I wasn't that gentle with her... hee hee hee...Michelle wanted to ignore me as I blurted out my impulsive question again. She looked at me quizzically with one eyebrow arched. Urgh...Sometimes friends coulb be sooo...urgh...criticizing! I thought as I glanced at Mun and Saj who were whispering together with their heads bent, clearly stating that they didn't want US involved. At that time, we just formed TDevils, and our foundation was still shaky since me and Mich wasn't that trusting towards Saj who looked to angelic to be true. It wouldn't be more obvious if she had worn a tutu, had a wand in her hand and who could forget? WIngs of course! It wasn't a surprise that SHE had a BF. if you are quizzing me about who that guy is, lets just say him as B, kk?
"Just look at them, they look so...urm...close.." I hissed feeling quite green with jealousy. Mich let out a short burst of laughter and pinched me playfully. "I think you have been reading tooo much romance novels. Lez? C'mon Jade, friends don't have secrets!" Pah, that was what SHE thought. I thought differently. But turns out she was just playing around bcoz she thought they(ST and FSW) were listening to us. Ohhh...mich...you are the BEST! Turns out I wasn't the only one who was suspicious of them. She was too. And she was MORE suspicious than I was. Hahaha! So much for secrecy among the TDs. Hee hee hee. "So...what is their secret anyway?" I whispered fiercely as I wrote the dumb assignment that our English teacher was giving. NY came over and I confided to him. "So? What do you think?" I asked curiously. NY shrugged and disappeared with his buddies. I shook my fist at him and Mich laughed. "Chill, we can ask them, give them a little shock." Mich said. I felt doubt in me. Would they tell us in the spirit of TD? Or will they spin up another yarn? I did tell Mich what I thought and suddenly an evil smirk crossed my face. "Got it!" I exclaimed too loudly causing Weiqi to look at me quizzically. "She hyper again izit?" Weiqi asked in a stage whisper. I laughed and just shook my head. "Mich, TD book." I said. Mich passed me the TD book and I smirked again. Weiqi looked at me and shooked her head like a sympathetic mother. "definitely Hyper" XD hee hee hee
Stay tuned as I continue. What was my plan exactly??? :)
Characters:
Mun (FSW)
Mich(CYY)
Saj(ST)
Me(JT)
Qi en (GQE)
NY(NY)
Roop(RM) (hee hee hee...ringgit malaysia! =D)
Spiff(SC)
Okay done already... urm...i am one of the baddd guyss as you may label me. Hahaha. But don't blame me, I have a right to be urm...madddd ^^. Okay so I am crapping again. SOS here!!! Jade is crapping again! Hahaha. Naw....I might need CPR too. *wink wink* or maybe just a smoocchhhhh hahaha! Joking dude, ey, doc, don't worry my heart...or rather my lips, are no longer in need of your CPR. Or rather I name that, Calling People Ready (CPR) heyyys! It makes sense! =D hahaha. Nayyy, I will continueee...
The Beginning of A Fight, Uneasy feelings, Unconcious gestures.( urm...isn't that, kinda dangerous?!*wink*)
Happy Go Lucky? Or just Brewing Trouble?
"Don't you think Saj and Mun and En are acting quite strange lately?" I ask Mich. Mich was rather absorbed in her book and just snorted incomprehendingly. I huffed in impatience and nudged her not to softly in her ribs. "Mich!! Listen to me larr." I begged as she scowled at me and rubbed her sore ribs. Oopppss...I guess I wasn't that gentle with her... hee hee hee...Michelle wanted to ignore me as I blurted out my impulsive question again. She looked at me quizzically with one eyebrow arched. Urgh...Sometimes friends coulb be sooo...urgh...criticizing! I thought as I glanced at Mun and Saj who were whispering together with their heads bent, clearly stating that they didn't want US involved. At that time, we just formed TDevils, and our foundation was still shaky since me and Mich wasn't that trusting towards Saj who looked to angelic to be true. It wouldn't be more obvious if she had worn a tutu, had a wand in her hand and who could forget? WIngs of course! It wasn't a surprise that SHE had a BF. if you are quizzing me about who that guy is, lets just say him as B, kk?
"Just look at them, they look so...urm...close.." I hissed feeling quite green with jealousy. Mich let out a short burst of laughter and pinched me playfully. "I think you have been reading tooo much romance novels. Lez? C'mon Jade, friends don't have secrets!" Pah, that was what SHE thought. I thought differently. But turns out she was just playing around bcoz she thought they(ST and FSW) were listening to us. Ohhh...mich...you are the BEST! Turns out I wasn't the only one who was suspicious of them. She was too. And she was MORE suspicious than I was. Hahaha! So much for secrecy among the TDs. Hee hee hee. "So...what is their secret anyway?" I whispered fiercely as I wrote the dumb assignment that our English teacher was giving. NY came over and I confided to him. "So? What do you think?" I asked curiously. NY shrugged and disappeared with his buddies. I shook my fist at him and Mich laughed. "Chill, we can ask them, give them a little shock." Mich said. I felt doubt in me. Would they tell us in the spirit of TD? Or will they spin up another yarn? I did tell Mich what I thought and suddenly an evil smirk crossed my face. "Got it!" I exclaimed too loudly causing Weiqi to look at me quizzically. "She hyper again izit?" Weiqi asked in a stage whisper. I laughed and just shook my head. "Mich, TD book." I said. Mich passed me the TD book and I smirked again. Weiqi looked at me and shooked her head like a sympathetic mother. "definitely Hyper" XD hee hee hee
Stay tuned as I continue. What was my plan exactly??? :)
Tuesday, November 25, 2008
DDgemz.. Part One: Arrival of a NEW memberz
First part of a truly sentimental part(urgh...the title itself sounds like crap! How am I going to mumbo somemore????? Aiyooo....mun....i am going to killll uuu if i cannot have enough fingers to do my projectttt yaaa!! =D )
Skippinggggg my soogggyyy sapppyyyy beginning and the wish to cut of all my tortured fingers, I launchhhh myselllfff into the depths of my urgh....was that yesterday's old tau foo?....urgh....definitely......and.....*sniff* do I smell dog poop?!!! Argh! Dangggg....my dog just pooped on my chair! =O NEvermindd....ewww...i can continue....
Finally I am starting, this post is mostly about the time that Saj and Roop joined us. That timez, our group wasn't even born YET! Amazing huh and completely anal! Lol! xD Anyway, it was an established FACT that I hated Roop. Okay, roop darling, sorry to write this, but sometimes, I still do NOT hate you anymore! Waaaaa....why not??? I love adventure!!! ='( hee hee hee. I hate fighting anyway......... It makes me feel guillltttyyyy.... =P But I thinkkk I have enough with nan fighting his horns of his balls. Lawl..... hahaha. Anyway, less vulgarity more actionity, So...we weren't to pleased to see Roop joining our lauging gangz, although I think she alwayz tried to suck up to me and Mich. With mich it sometimes worked, with me, not at all....I hated one time where....urm....it is quite embarassing to admit really. Even NY didn't notice anything...and I have to say, NY does notice quite a LOT! Hey N, stop messing with my itchy eyes yea?! I know I am a freaking crybaby. hahaha. Emo emo emo.... lollie....Back to the story, well Saj went away so called sick for a while...and Roop went to seat behind Mich. I guess all of US remember that episode. Mich is going to explode laughing when she hears about this.... >.<>
Okay skipping tau foo...ew.... So during the time when our sweet Saj was gone, suddenly.....all...of...a....sudden....Roop became....good friends with Mich!!! I was like WTF. T.T really depressed really....bcoz I thought mich hated Roop as much as I DID last time. When I questioned her about it:
Mich..
Me...
Heyzzz dude, I thought you hate Roop?
Ohh yaaa I doo, did you see her face when I bought poop for her?
Urm...nooo.....anyway, she seems quite close to you...
Ohh yaaa! We are the best of buddies, aren't we, poop face?? *points to Roop*
Hahaha. Okay you got me....the second and the last part didn't reallllyyyy happen....i love to mess with conversations... o.O so better be careful when you talk to me!!! hee hee hee. But after that, me and Roop got on really well...seriously...i dunno why...i guess I now sort of like her! After all she is a DDgemz, a partner of evil and a girl with Big Bazookas! =D ILY darlingz!
Skippinggggg my soogggyyy sapppyyyy beginning and the wish to cut of all my tortured fingers, I launchhhh myselllfff into the depths of my urgh....was that yesterday's old tau foo?....urgh....definitely......and.....*sniff* do I smell dog poop?!!! Argh! Dangggg....my dog just pooped on my chair! =O NEvermindd....ewww...i can continue....
Finally I am starting, this post is mostly about the time that Saj and Roop joined us. That timez, our group wasn't even born YET! Amazing huh and completely anal! Lol! xD Anyway, it was an established FACT that I hated Roop. Okay, roop darling, sorry to write this, but sometimes, I still do NOT hate you anymore! Waaaaa....why not??? I love adventure!!! ='( hee hee hee. I hate fighting anyway......... It makes me feel guillltttyyyy.... =P But I thinkkk I have enough with nan fighting his horns of his balls. Lawl..... hahaha. Anyway, less vulgarity more actionity, So...we weren't to pleased to see Roop joining our lauging gangz, although I think she alwayz tried to suck up to me and Mich. With mich it sometimes worked, with me, not at all....I hated one time where....urm....it is quite embarassing to admit really. Even NY didn't notice anything...and I have to say, NY does notice quite a LOT! Hey N, stop messing with my itchy eyes yea?! I know I am a freaking crybaby. hahaha. Emo emo emo.... lollie....Back to the story, well Saj went away so called sick for a while...and Roop went to seat behind Mich. I guess all of US remember that episode. Mich is going to explode laughing when she hears about this.... >.<>
Okay skipping tau foo...ew.... So during the time when our sweet Saj was gone, suddenly.....all...of...a....sudden....Roop became....good friends with Mich!!! I was like WTF. T.T really depressed really....bcoz I thought mich hated Roop as much as I DID last time. When I questioned her about it:
Mich..
Me...
Heyzzz dude, I thought you hate Roop?
Ohh yaaa I doo, did you see her face when I bought poop for her?
Urm...nooo.....anyway, she seems quite close to you...
Ohh yaaa! We are the best of buddies, aren't we, poop face?? *points to Roop*
Hahaha. Okay you got me....the second and the last part didn't reallllyyyy happen....i love to mess with conversations... o.O so better be careful when you talk to me!!! hee hee hee. But after that, me and Roop got on really well...seriously...i dunno why...i guess I now sort of like her! After all she is a DDgemz, a partner of evil and a girl with Big Bazookas! =D ILY darlingz!
DDgemz Talezzz of Wonderz(TRUE facts, Real Heartache)
I am writing this in dedications to my Best Buds who travelled through this whole CRAP SHIT year of 2008 and enjoyed and Suffered through its times. :) Enjoy my darlingzzz....it will be a HUGE shocker even for YOU guys to know how I FEEL about you GUYZZZ all of YOU. =) Okay but skiping the suddenly sooo serious intro (wahhhhh jade yea...cannot more urm pro meh ya? I can hear you say that Saj and you too Qi en!!!) Lolzz... Anyways, first I wanna update on my life! =D Things are not thta DULL DULL DULL. The fact that my MUM AND MY DAD just came back home with a new shower thingy which has so called special odours coming from IT!!!! Arghhhhh....runnn awayyyyzz!!!! =) I was horrified bcoz i DO sometimes use my Parents toilet and... yea....i can hear you guys screaming What the Heck?!!! But no, I am a BIG GURL now and I do not SHOWER with my parents. Hmph. >.<>
Okay done with that. I hate being enemies with someone. But to say all of it does make me feel a whole lot better. Sheeeesshhhh......^^ actually....urm....not really....=(.....Group Huggiess!!! ILY you galz and that is WHY I am doing this TALEZZZ.... idea came from mun actually (i dun like to take credit. lolz....cheh wah wah.) (see mun? I no more perasanted!!! I gave the honours to youuuuu! Happyyy??xD) hee hee hee. Okay I can hear you say "Finally she is going to write facts not crappo mumbo anymore." and yeah, you couldn't be more right!!! :) Okayz drum roollllzzz everyoneeeeesss.... and pssstttt. Malliga, I know you didn't think all these stuff could happen huh under your nose? Welll...teens are hardeerrr than you think teach! =) I can't believe I miss ur scoldings! I guess your daughter might be begging ME to take over her placee.... hahaha. But....uhhhh...no thanks! hee hee hee.
Okay done with that. I hate being enemies with someone. But to say all of it does make me feel a whole lot better. Sheeeesshhhh......^^ actually....urm....not really....=(.....Group Huggiess!!! ILY you galz and that is WHY I am doing this TALEZZZ.... idea came from mun actually (i dun like to take credit. lolz....cheh wah wah.) (see mun? I no more perasanted!!! I gave the honours to youuuuu! Happyyy??xD) hee hee hee. Okay I can hear you say "Finally she is going to write facts not crappo mumbo anymore." and yeah, you couldn't be more right!!! :) Okayz drum roollllzzz everyoneeeeesss.... and pssstttt. Malliga, I know you didn't think all these stuff could happen huh under your nose? Welll...teens are hardeerrr than you think teach! =) I can't believe I miss ur scoldings! I guess your daughter might be begging ME to take over her placee.... hahaha. But....uhhhh...no thanks! hee hee hee.
Monday, November 24, 2008
boooooooooooooooorrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrreeeeeeeeeeedddddddddddooooooooooooommmmmmmmmmmmmmm
Aren't you bored to death with the stupid holidays?? I am...urghhhhh.....i dunno why everyone looks forwards to holidays. Hm. Maybe it is because they get to spend time with their families, have fun and just lighten up for once. But this so called lightening up.is making me moreeee lethargic each passing day. That is why I so LAZY to update, though my friends, relatives and blah blah blah asking me to UPDATE. So fine. You want an UPDATE on my suckish life, you got it. I am BORED TO DEATH. And PS, to all my sweet TDevils, I changed the name to DDgalz.IM me if you wanna know what it stands for kk? ILY you guys, hope to see you sooonnn hopefully, before Christmas, mun mun, my heart reaches out to you for the fact that you cannot go at all with us DDgalz ,or should I change it to DDgemz? Hmmmm.....interesting. Roop darling and Saj sweetheart, if you guys are reading this, plz help me decide yaaaa. Mich, I know you don't read my blog anyways, so nevermind larr...T.T...not like I update often also rite? Yayaya. I know.... I am lazzzyyyy oredi to update so is my suen suen. =) Rite suen? You also lazzzyyy like me ya?
Okay darlingzzzz, in tribute to the fact your so called beloved love counseller, cheh wah wah... =D beloved... hahaha! Okay yeah, continuing....... I am returning with a full front 2 tips if YOU are dating the wrong guy. :) Or...hm....if you lezzzz ah...then also....urm....can lor. Haha! No offence, dudez. Hee hee hee.....okay.......moving on..... =D
2 Tips if you are Dating the WRONG GUY. Cheh wah wah...:) I learn from experienceee.
1. Okay, when you are walking around with him, lets say shopping mall ah, complex ah....and all those crap places you and HIM like to walk around in ah. Make sure you jagajaga a little and NURSE your BF a little bit yaaaa. BFs like to be pampered but that also DEPENDS but if it is the OTHER way around, you are one LUCKY angel. Anyhow. If you suddenly walking around buying this and that this and that this and....okay I think you get the pic rite? So, if you so HAPPEN to pass by lar... and you seee....the ppl there with HUGE BAZOOKAS in their FRONT then your BF goggling at them...then.....aiyoooooyoooo. Dump him lar. After that he go for Pros.... =D and BTW thanks nan for the shortcut!!!! :)
2. Movingggg onnnn yaaa...okay if for example ya, you got your bDAY cumin up lar. Suddenly your BF starts to try and edge away from you. You wonder WHY? Okay I will TELL YOU WHY. Cheh wah. See? I now soooo perasan oredi. Mun!!!! You are the coz of this perasanness....hahaha. Joke only lar sweet. BECAUSE, he trying to say to you I DUN HAVE MONEY, stay away, or he feels GUILT, because it has been a YEAR when he met you and you are GOING older than him!!!! Seriously, guys are sensitive about their AGE and HEIGHT. hahaha. Dunno why leh? But i guess not much difference lar GUYS and GALS. Gals are sensitive about WEIGHT and LOOKS. hahaha. But isn't that what guys go for anyway?
tata, my sweets, but stay tuned for the poem i am creating a poem about our one so called FRIENDLY and extremely PERASANTED, CLASS loony, FAT BUM, Leland Chow BIG BUTT! =) I am sure all of you guyz out there are waiting to FIND OUT huh? Well........ you have to wait!!! See? I am evillll.... lolz
Okay darlingzzzz, in tribute to the fact your so called beloved love counseller, cheh wah wah... =D beloved... hahaha! Okay yeah, continuing....... I am returning with a full front 2 tips if YOU are dating the wrong guy. :) Or...hm....if you lezzzz ah...then also....urm....can lor. Haha! No offence, dudez. Hee hee hee.....okay.......moving on..... =D
2 Tips if you are Dating the WRONG GUY. Cheh wah wah...:) I learn from experienceee.
1. Okay, when you are walking around with him, lets say shopping mall ah, complex ah....and all those crap places you and HIM like to walk around in ah. Make sure you jagajaga a little and NURSE your BF a little bit yaaaa. BFs like to be pampered but that also DEPENDS but if it is the OTHER way around, you are one LUCKY angel. Anyhow. If you suddenly walking around buying this and that this and that this and....okay I think you get the pic rite? So, if you so HAPPEN to pass by lar... and you seee....the ppl there with HUGE BAZOOKAS in their FRONT then your BF goggling at them...then.....aiyoooooyoooo. Dump him lar. After that he go for Pros.... =D and BTW thanks nan for the shortcut!!!! :)
2. Movingggg onnnn yaaa...okay if for example ya, you got your bDAY cumin up lar. Suddenly your BF starts to try and edge away from you. You wonder WHY? Okay I will TELL YOU WHY. Cheh wah. See? I now soooo perasan oredi. Mun!!!! You are the coz of this perasanness....hahaha. Joke only lar sweet. BECAUSE, he trying to say to you I DUN HAVE MONEY, stay away, or he feels GUILT, because it has been a YEAR when he met you and you are GOING older than him!!!! Seriously, guys are sensitive about their AGE and HEIGHT. hahaha. Dunno why leh? But i guess not much difference lar GUYS and GALS. Gals are sensitive about WEIGHT and LOOKS. hahaha. But isn't that what guys go for anyway?
tata, my sweets, but stay tuned for the poem i am creating a poem about our one so called FRIENDLY and extremely PERASANTED, CLASS loony, FAT BUM, Leland Chow BIG BUTT! =) I am sure all of you guyz out there are waiting to FIND OUT huh? Well........ you have to wait!!! See? I am evillll.... lolz
Friday, November 7, 2008
Freakin bored!!!>.<
I am feeling a little green today. I am not SICK okay. I am just....green. Tomorrow was and I emphasis greatly on the word WAS going to be the BEST day of my life hanging out with all my BBFFs! And then bang bang boom, I had to go somewhere and NO FUCKING TRANSPORT! That so suxxxx......I was so freakin happy when I thought of skating this weekend. For saturday(that saturday only) was the ONLY saturday that I HAVE NO TUITION! It is so F*ck. URGH! I am damn pissed right now. But since I haven't updated in like aeons, so i want to update on my hectic life. I feel suckish. My mood is downright angry right now. And girls, I dun care what you say! I am GOING TO ARRANGE ANOTHER SKATING TRIPPPPP!!!! :)
Okay instead of being so pissed and angry, how bout being a bubbly person again?! Okay there is this anoymous best bud of mine I dedicate this too!
When You Were Gone
When you were gone,
It felt like there was a burning pain in me,
That wouldn't fade,
The pain began when you left me alone.
I was standing in the rain,
As the coldness numbed me,
But did I feel anything?
Nah, only that burning pain.
I hate the way you left me,
Without an explaination or a goodbye,
I hated the way you left me,
Without a single tear from your eye.
Eventhough I hate the fact that you left me,
I wish that you would come back,
Because I need you by my side,
Because you are a part of me.
When you left my life became a spiral,
A helpless tunnel that twirled,
So dangerous to grope,
And more dangerous to hang on.
Now that you are gone,
I could just slit my wrist and slowly die,
I wouldn't mind,
For the despair inside is overwhelming me.
I hate you now for leaving me without notice,
But maybe you knew I wouldn't let you go,
But couldn't I hug you for one more time?
And let me treasure your memories forever.
I hate myself for forgetting how you looked like now,
Because I plunge myself into endless fantasies,
I forget your face,
And the pain fades.
Little by little,
I began to notice your presence in my life,
It is now more pronounced than ever,
But surprisingly the pain has left.
A hole in my heart has that burn created,
A hole that can never patch up,
Until you appear back into my life,
And stick me back up again.
Don't mind me,
For I am dying,
Without your friendship,
I feel like I am sinking.
That is why love is so painful,
Like an hot iron,
But I still want Love,
For all the pain.
I see the pictures on the wall,
And now I tear them down,
And I started to cry,
And the pain inside all left me.
My eyes watered,
And my nose sniffled,
The pictures were all scattered around the floor,
And now I can stuff them into the dustbin.
I take the pictures and threw them in the dustbin,
And I watched as the truck took it away,
Suddenly it began to dawn on me,
That the memories of us were slipping away.
My eyes suddenly snapped awake,
And my pose became frigid and alert,
As I chase the truck,
Around the turf.
Till now I am still chasing that truck,
In hope to get back my memories,
eventhough how hurtful they may be,
they still are memories of you and me.
Hey! I sort of like this poem! :D Lol! It is nice, isn't it????? LOL!...hee hee hee....see i damn hyper now.....nite nite ppl!
Okay instead of being so pissed and angry, how bout being a bubbly person again?! Okay there is this anoymous best bud of mine I dedicate this too!
When You Were Gone
When you were gone,
It felt like there was a burning pain in me,
That wouldn't fade,
The pain began when you left me alone.
I was standing in the rain,
As the coldness numbed me,
But did I feel anything?
Nah, only that burning pain.
I hate the way you left me,
Without an explaination or a goodbye,
I hated the way you left me,
Without a single tear from your eye.
Eventhough I hate the fact that you left me,
I wish that you would come back,
Because I need you by my side,
Because you are a part of me.
When you left my life became a spiral,
A helpless tunnel that twirled,
So dangerous to grope,
And more dangerous to hang on.
Now that you are gone,
I could just slit my wrist and slowly die,
I wouldn't mind,
For the despair inside is overwhelming me.
I hate you now for leaving me without notice,
But maybe you knew I wouldn't let you go,
But couldn't I hug you for one more time?
And let me treasure your memories forever.
I hate myself for forgetting how you looked like now,
Because I plunge myself into endless fantasies,
I forget your face,
And the pain fades.
Little by little,
I began to notice your presence in my life,
It is now more pronounced than ever,
But surprisingly the pain has left.
A hole in my heart has that burn created,
A hole that can never patch up,
Until you appear back into my life,
And stick me back up again.
Don't mind me,
For I am dying,
Without your friendship,
I feel like I am sinking.
That is why love is so painful,
Like an hot iron,
But I still want Love,
For all the pain.
I see the pictures on the wall,
And now I tear them down,
And I started to cry,
And the pain inside all left me.
My eyes watered,
And my nose sniffled,
The pictures were all scattered around the floor,
And now I can stuff them into the dustbin.
I take the pictures and threw them in the dustbin,
And I watched as the truck took it away,
Suddenly it began to dawn on me,
That the memories of us were slipping away.
My eyes suddenly snapped awake,
And my pose became frigid and alert,
As I chase the truck,
Around the turf.
Till now I am still chasing that truck,
In hope to get back my memories,
eventhough how hurtful they may be,
they still are memories of you and me.
Hey! I sort of like this poem! :D Lol! It is nice, isn't it????? LOL!...hee hee hee....see i damn hyper now.....nite nite ppl!
Monday, November 3, 2008
My thoughts
How would you feel if you were stuck in a situation, where you love your friend, but you don't know how to say it? I love him.... I can't forget him. Urgh. I must take a potion. seriously.............okay, I feel better...sort of. Lol... Again I shock sendiri. Lol! Life is pretty dull, boring and stiff....Very stiff. i feel like cardboard. old and stiff. urgh. I want a sincere, truthful, loving and mischievous guy, who also shock sendiri.....is that hard? Yeah...i guess it is........My trouble with XX is still fresh in my mind and BTW, I will insert another, love counselling. This is a sensitive topic and I don't wanna breach it but yes I have to. (sorry Saj! :) )
Breaking Up, and The feeling of Hopelessness
Don't blame yourself if your bf broke up with you, that is the most important thing. You must keep a sane head. Without a sane head, a relationship meltdown, could be hard to bear. You will soon fall into deep thought and tend to space out at lengthy amounts of time. Sounds like you? Well, don't worry it is natural. Then doubt, starts to creep in. Doubt fills every single space of your mind like a stifling cloud and a blanket, threatening to muffle you to death. Doubt is dangerous my sweethearts, so don't fall for it. Doubt that you weren't good enough for him, worried that you over exerted yourself, worried that you are too ugly for him... (trust me, that was how I felt when XX broke up with me....) Then the next thing that comes is realisation, reliasing that you are no more his GF, and his most trusted companion. It is hard and it sucks like hell. So just ask the realisation to Fuck Off, for it has no right to be in your mind. What you should think is:
"I am special, I am a girl, I have weaknesses and strengths, if a guy doesn't want me anymore, his bad fortune, I don't care, he can wallow for all I care. So Fuck Off exes, you are so gone case. I don't think I want to be your GF anymore, for being a GF to YOU wastes my time, bye bye sucker. After all, it is your funeral."
Breaking Up, and The feeling of Hopelessness
Don't blame yourself if your bf broke up with you, that is the most important thing. You must keep a sane head. Without a sane head, a relationship meltdown, could be hard to bear. You will soon fall into deep thought and tend to space out at lengthy amounts of time. Sounds like you? Well, don't worry it is natural. Then doubt, starts to creep in. Doubt fills every single space of your mind like a stifling cloud and a blanket, threatening to muffle you to death. Doubt is dangerous my sweethearts, so don't fall for it. Doubt that you weren't good enough for him, worried that you over exerted yourself, worried that you are too ugly for him... (trust me, that was how I felt when XX broke up with me....) Then the next thing that comes is realisation, reliasing that you are no more his GF, and his most trusted companion. It is hard and it sucks like hell. So just ask the realisation to Fuck Off, for it has no right to be in your mind. What you should think is:
"I am special, I am a girl, I have weaknesses and strengths, if a guy doesn't want me anymore, his bad fortune, I don't care, he can wallow for all I care. So Fuck Off exes, you are so gone case. I don't think I want to be your GF anymore, for being a GF to YOU wastes my time, bye bye sucker. After all, it is your funeral."
Sunday, November 2, 2008
How about a sincere view for once...lol!
Sincere
You were my best friend,
But I thought you weren't sincere,
Eventhough I thought I knew you so well,
But I doubted you when the moment arised.
I wonder if you will ever forgive me,
For the gnawing hole I left,
I hope you will forgive me,
Because I so badly want to trust you again.
I know I was mean,
To tear a hole in your heart,
I knew I was evil,
By the way your eyes shun.
You ignored me after that,
And the ice was so cool,
I couldn't find a way,
To sew up the mess I made.
What can I do to make you forgive me,
For being cautious and a little fickle,
How can you forgive me,
For the pain I left you with.
I know I was a pain,
The way I kept worrying,
But I did that cause I love you,
Let me know if it is too much.
I hate the fact that we are fighting,
But fighting comes now and then,
I guess if we don't fight,
Then we might not be friends.
Fighting strengthens the bond of two people,
As you get to understand each other more,
The understanding helps to ease,
The stress caused recently.
But fighting still tears me apart,
Because I hated the way you cried,
The sound of your tears made my heart long to comfort you,
But the feeling of knowing that I was wrong,
Kept me at bay.
I am sorry I was selfish,
If you'd give me a chance I would change,
But change won't come easy,
Cause I hate changing.
But if it comes to that,
Change I will,
Cause in friendship someone must sacrifice,
And that will be me.
Cause I want to amend,
The mess I caused,
I couldn't find a way,
So sacrifice I will.
Eventhough it may be hard,
But I will give it a good shot,
Cause if I can't manage to heal the hole I caused,
I must as well not be your friend.
I guess you would be leaving now,
As you hate me more than words,
Because of the pain I caused you,
And I know I can't mend it,
For I might make it worse.
So this comes from the heart,
Sometimes I may fight with you,
For people misunderstand,
It is only considered human,
For you and me.
So forgive me but don't forget,
Cause I want to be reminded not to do it again,
I never want to hurt you,
Cause you never hurt me,
I will protect you and be
A better friend,
A sincere friend,
It will shine through my eyes,
Cause...I love you.
For every single one of my friends, who I have misunderstood in the past. I hope the gnawing pain I caused may have healed somehow. I hope you found someone better. Cause everyday I tell myself, I don't deserve you at all. :)
You were my best friend,
But I thought you weren't sincere,
Eventhough I thought I knew you so well,
But I doubted you when the moment arised.
I wonder if you will ever forgive me,
For the gnawing hole I left,
I hope you will forgive me,
Because I so badly want to trust you again.
I know I was mean,
To tear a hole in your heart,
I knew I was evil,
By the way your eyes shun.
You ignored me after that,
And the ice was so cool,
I couldn't find a way,
To sew up the mess I made.
What can I do to make you forgive me,
For being cautious and a little fickle,
How can you forgive me,
For the pain I left you with.
I know I was a pain,
The way I kept worrying,
But I did that cause I love you,
Let me know if it is too much.
I hate the fact that we are fighting,
But fighting comes now and then,
I guess if we don't fight,
Then we might not be friends.
Fighting strengthens the bond of two people,
As you get to understand each other more,
The understanding helps to ease,
The stress caused recently.
But fighting still tears me apart,
Because I hated the way you cried,
The sound of your tears made my heart long to comfort you,
But the feeling of knowing that I was wrong,
Kept me at bay.
I am sorry I was selfish,
If you'd give me a chance I would change,
But change won't come easy,
Cause I hate changing.
But if it comes to that,
Change I will,
Cause in friendship someone must sacrifice,
And that will be me.
Cause I want to amend,
The mess I caused,
I couldn't find a way,
So sacrifice I will.
Eventhough it may be hard,
But I will give it a good shot,
Cause if I can't manage to heal the hole I caused,
I must as well not be your friend.
I guess you would be leaving now,
As you hate me more than words,
Because of the pain I caused you,
And I know I can't mend it,
For I might make it worse.
So this comes from the heart,
Sometimes I may fight with you,
For people misunderstand,
It is only considered human,
For you and me.
So forgive me but don't forget,
Cause I want to be reminded not to do it again,
I never want to hurt you,
Cause you never hurt me,
I will protect you and be
A better friend,
A sincere friend,
It will shine through my eyes,
Cause...I love you.
For every single one of my friends, who I have misunderstood in the past. I hope the gnawing pain I caused may have healed somehow. I hope you found someone better. Cause everyday I tell myself, I don't deserve you at all. :)
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